Posts in Life
3 THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN WE LEAD FROM FEAR

Everybody’s afraid of something, and that’s not always bad. Fear of falling keeps us away from the edge of a cliff. Fear of wrecking (or getting a fine) stops us from ignoring a red light.

The last eleven months have sparked fear in the world in which we live.

Fear of a virus.

Fear of politics.

Fear of one another.

Fear of the unknown.

But when fear drives how you lead, your ability to lead will suffer. Here’s what I mean.

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TWO QUESTIONS FOR MEN FAR FROM GOD

How can a Christian leader reach men who are far from God?

I’ve been asked that many times, maybe because reaching such men has become a part of my mission. In fact two or three times each month I gather with guys in a neutral location just to hang out together. But my purpose is deeper than fellowship.

Of course it always starts there: loud laughter, rude kidding, good-natured insults. Soon it transitions to life and talk about work and wives and kids.

After awhile I pose two questions for each guy to answer. I’ve been asking these questions in meetings like this for seven years, and I continue to see the remarkable results they bring. The questions:

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MOVING FROM BITTER TO BETTER

Leaders in any organization, but especially in the church, spend so much time in bitterness management. Life Church pastor Craig Groeschel once said the thing he deals with more than anything else as he tries to grow a great church is lawsuits and negative people. Thankfully, he finds ways not to focus on such problems, because what you focus on is what you fall on.

I’ve decided not to make negatives my focus. I want to concentrate on making people better, not bitter.

And I’ve come to realize that the first way to do this is to work on making myself better instead of bitter. Most of the bitterness in the people I encounter began inside of them. Their own view of themselves and their personal circumstances created the bitterness that then spills out into the situations they enter. I want to be better than that. Concentrating on better always leads me upward. Slipping into bitter leads to a never-ending downward slide. Me being bitter doesn’t make me better, and it surely does nothing for those around me.

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WHY AND HOW YOUR CHURCH CAN AVOID BEING AN INSTITUTION

It’s usually sad when a person is institutionalized.

When your aging grandmother becomes too confused to take care of herself, her children institutionalize her.

When your elderly uncle becomes too weak to live alone, your cousins institutionalize him.

When a child with a physical or mental disability can’t function in normal society, he or she is institutionalized to keep them safe and help them survive.

Institutionalization is about protection, not propagation; guarding, not going; building a defense, not mounting an offense.

It’s often necessary for the weak—or the wayward; we institutionalize criminals, too. But when thriving enterprises become institutionalized, it’s never a positive sign of strength.

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EMBRACING LONELINESS OVER ISOLATION

I don’t know about most of you, but the last year of leadership in ministry has had some very lonely moments. For some it has even been isolating. There were moments where it was lonely pre-pandemic, but in the midst of it, it has been even more lonesome and even isolating at times. Throw in political, racial, and social upheaval, and you have a perfect leadership storm of loneliness that can turn isolating quickly.

“It’s lonely at the top.” Like most clichés, this one gets repeated so often because it expresses at least a little truth. In fact, according to some research, at least half of all CEOS report feelings of loneliness. As one researcher puts it, “You can imagine that … over time having to make a lot of tough, unpopular decisions that are constantly going to upset at least one part of your constituency could start to feel isolating.”

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